204458

Joke of the Day

"Have you ever read the serial number on a condom before? No? You have to unroll it 2 more inches!"

"Did you hear about... Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack!"

"Finally bought a puppy for the wife and I, but it turns out my wife's allergic to dogs, so we had to get rid of her. The dog and I live happily together now."

"There was once a psych researcher with a rare genetic defect that gave her four buttocks. She was fired for being bi-assed."

"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."

"[heaven's IT department] Ok, I see why your computer's crashing. Have you been closing doors again? God: Yes, why? Too many open windows"

"Your face... ...looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hammer."

"""If you woke up with your pants at your ankles and your ass covered in vasoline, would you tell anybody?"" Guy #2: ""No."" Guy #1: ""Just wondering.... Wanna go camping?"""

"How do you know you're golfing with a politician? When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard."

"My ex-girlfriend was a magician... She made all of my money disappear..."