1808

Joke of the Day

"Your face... ...looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hammer."

"Look, this is the only body I'll ever have and that is why I'm covering it in a thick layer of fat to protect it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."

"I bought shoes from a second hand shop. They must've belonged to a junkie though because I've been tripping all day."

"Can February March? Don't know but April May..."

"I'd explain it to you again but I'm fresh out of crayons and puppets"

"What did the sign say on the abandoned nuclear reactor? Gone fission"

"Robin Williams was found dead in his house. The police suspect arson, but I doubtfire. Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/2dacn8/no/cjnr8i8"

"The blue man lives in the blue house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, the purple man lives in the purple house. Who lives in the White House? The orange man."

"So glad I don't subtweet like SOME PEOPLE."