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Joke of the Day

"[Native Americans see ship approach] Let's use fake names lol ""Ha! I'll be Running Bear,u be Crazy Horse"" lmao do u think they'll believe us"

"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"

"Did you hear about the dancing girl? She danced on one leg and then the other, but she made her living between the two of them."

"What noise does a Russian Sheep make? It Blyats."

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"I was roasting meat and accidentally stabbed myself with a meat thermometer and blood is gushing out. I'm done."

"I like my eggs like the women I like Whites only"

"Theirye're, problem solved."

"[OC] What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January? Genu[w]ine."

"My boss told me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I replied, ""I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"""