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Joke of the Day
"Bloody FedEx... I've been waiting all day for my punchline"
Next Joke
"Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like ""this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."""
"What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? *Shady's back* "
"I had a race with an Asian today... It was a Thai"
"Im opening a DIY whorehouse. It's called ""Go fuck yourself""."
"Two balloons are floating across the desert One balloon says to the other, Look out for the cactussssssssssssssssssss!"
"How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Racists dont like to be enlightened."
"This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's head."
"Hubs: How long has your car been doing that? Me: ? Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight? Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights."
"I saw Uranus from my dorm room last night... ...Next time close your Urcurtains."