201917

Joke of the Day

"If I had a daughter I wouldn't waste money on training bras, I'd trap wild bras and train them myself like our ancestors did."

"A guaranteed way to make a hormone... Don't pay her..."

"Guitar players are actually quite a religious bunch... They've all found Gsus at some point."

"lower my casket into the ground and play ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" If you see someone not singing the Wimba Way part, kick them out."

"When she found the ring in the spaghetti she said yes, but the more rings she found the madder she got, and eventually she changed her mind."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"What can bring out your inner child? A coathanger."

"Cigarettes aren't addicting Just look at me. I smoke all the time, and I'm not addicted."

"I was very naive sexually. My first girlfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months"

"How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden? He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips."