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Joke of the Day

"I was very naive sexually. My first girlfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months"

"[NSFW]What does a woman, fridge and washing machine all have in common? They all drip when they're fucked."

"For five years my mother tucked me in at night... she really wanted a girl Credit goes to my friend Nick for telling me this one. Hi Nick!"

"What happens when a guy from Finland dies? He is finnished. Ha ha ha. God I am so depressed. :("

"LPT: If you ever get cold and don't have a sweater, stand in a corner for a few minutes; they're usually about 90 degrees. ( )"

"What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear."

"Perhaps one day he'll meet his Girl Fieri."

"At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"""

"Ladies don't pass gas. We just let it bubble up inside until it bursts out in the form of nonstop chatter about some chick we hate at work."

"Q: What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? A: One sells watches and the other watches cells."