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Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane"

"See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil."

"Roses are red Violets are blue Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser"

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Why did Moses see a burning bush as God? Because God planned on giving him his first tablets then. The mistake? They were Samsung Galaxy Note tablets."

"Why do they call them thunder storms and not lightning storms? Thunder storms just *sound* better"

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"I do not like them in my inbox. I do not like them from a blond fox. I do not like your webcam spam. I do not like them, Scam I Am."

"Why Latvian man did cross road? Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato."