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Joke of the Day

"Will playing ""GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony"" make me a homosexual? Same question for ""GTA IV: The Lost and The Damned."

"I was working at the butchers yesterday and a man comes in looking for a small chicken. I asked him to describe it so we can look for it together."

"I don't use Miracle Whip, I use Coincidental Circumstances Easily Explained by Reason Whip."

"I feel like HGTV is creating some false expectations for the attractiveness of the contractor you hire for home renovations."

"What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."""

"Did you hear that they exhumed the body of John Lennon? All they found was a dead beetle..."

"Real person: Do you have Twitter? I'll follow you! Me: Nope, sorry. Don't have a phone or a computer. Or a microwave. Hard times and all.."

"Whats blue and slippery? A blue slipper"

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"I'm an Asian male who scored a 2300 on the SAT I still don't know if i met my parents' expectASIANs."