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Joke of the Day

"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"

"Arnold Swarzeneggar pushup contest. Arnold Swarzeneggar challenged former President George W. Bush to a pushup contest, and the President accepted. Swarzeneggar did 910, But Bush did 911."

"I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say ""but my favorite role is being a mom"" at award shows."

"What would you guys like to ask an American? Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway"

"What do your cell phone settings and anal bleach have in common? They both change your ring tone!"

"A girl tells a guy that she can't get pregnant... ...turns out that he wasn't lying."

"They say that nothing can be erased from the Internet... Except for Hillary's emails."

"I just tried to follow Tim Howard on twitter... I got blocked."

"Saw some Advil on the floor this morning and sincerely thought ""Better just leave it there so I know where it is."""

"I tried to be a gentleman to this pretty lady, so I held the door open for her... But she just screamed at me as she got sucked out of the plane! Women are so ungrateful for nice guys nowadays."