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Joke of the Day

"Santa should promote clean energy this year. Instead of a lump of coal he should give a can of biofuel to the bad kids."

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"Did you hear about Instagram, the weed delivery service? nm was thinking of Instantgram"

"Why aren't there any Jewish gangsters? Because they don't ""come from the hood"""

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"The best thing about smartphones is that you don't have to refold maps anymore."

"I went for a depression test. Came back negative."

"What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline? To get to the other side."

"Nuclear winter ""What are you going to do if a nuclear winter comes?"" ""Throw snowballs."" ""Nuclear!"" ""With my tentacles!"""

"Xmas Russian Roulette: 1. Sit next to parents. 2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop. 3. Go to the website it auto completes to."