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Joke of the Day

"Xmas Russian Roulette: 1. Sit next to parents. 2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop. 3. Go to the website it auto completes to."

"Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger."

"Telling someone ""You are not alone"" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context."

"What Do You Call A Gay Boxer? ""Fruit Punch"". I'm sorry."

"There once was an Irishman who got so drunk while he was in Rome that he kissed his wife... ...and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel."

"People who say ""the future is now"" don't understand how time works."

"COP: There's been a murder BATMAN: I won't rest until I avenge them C: It's outside of Gotham B: Actually I have got a lot on at the moment"

"Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly"

"What does ""Maginot"" mean? Welcome"

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."