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Joke of the Day

"Nuclear winter ""What are you going to do if a nuclear winter comes?"" ""Throw snowballs."" ""Nuclear!"" ""With my tentacles!"""

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Black and ground up in the freezer."

"Had to stop watching Game of Thrones with my parents tonight, because of all the sex. So I've recorded it to watch after they've finished."

"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works."

"Coworker: I never would've guessed you're in your 30's. You look so young. Me: I'm old at heart."

"I ran into the back of a dwarf's car. He said he wasn't happy. I said ""Well which one are you?"""

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktator!"

"What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. "

"Humour is what separates us from the animals. And the feminists."

"Sometimes you have to forget what you want & remember what you deserve."