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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand... ...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis."

"You're ""gluten free?"" How nice. I'm mostly ""money free"" so I can't be so fuckin' picky."

"Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a paedo... ...not me though, I live next door to two stunning 8 year olds."

"An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""What is this? Some sort of joke?!"""

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct."

"if Trump played classical pianoa Would he grab it by Debussy?"

"If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia."

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."

"Where do really smart birds roost? In a dictonaerie."

"Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'."