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Joke of the Day

"Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a paedo... ...not me though, I live next door to two stunning 8 year olds."

"How do boats apologise? S**oar**ry!"

"Who's the idiot who named the song 'The Sound of Silence' and not"

"What do you call a stupid, ugly, fat cow that gives birth to idiots that don't know when their own mother is being insulted? Your mom."

"Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because it had a spear through it's head."

"A man is chasing a talking emu... The Emu is taunting him, saying ""you can't catch me! I can run at 80 km/h, you can only manage 20!"" to which the the man replies ""You can run but you can't fly!"""

"13: Dad, What's detour mean? Me: Get a dictionary and look up tampon."

"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a plane crash who survives? America Survives."

"I can tell a dude is gay by what kind of music he is playing when I walk in on him banging another dude."

"A mango told an apple ""I love you"" Actually it was a passionfruit, not a mango"