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Joke of the Day

"Human history is so awful, I think I'm just gonna teach my son the timeline of Star Trek off of Wikipedia and call it a day."

"Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary? Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production."

"[at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers."

"Why was everyone scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender"

"Scrabble was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids with dyslexia. The word ""dyslexia"" was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids wigh dyslexia."

"Monday, you deplete me."

"A voter from the 2000 election recognized me. He came up to me and said ""Hey, Chad, how's it hanging?"""

"I want to open a gay poker bar. And call it ""The space of AIDS"""

"What's the difference between jokes and dicks? My girlfriend doesn't laugh at my jokes. *edited for spelling: ""Mr"" instead of ""my""*"

"There was a farmer who had a machine which caculated the angle you sat. He called it his pro-tractor"