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Joke of the Day

"There was a farmer who had a machine which caculated the angle you sat. He called it his pro-tractor"

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"I would tell you an Ebola joke... But you probably won't get it"
"Q: What is hard six inches long has two nuts and can make a girl fat? A: Almond Joy candy bar"
"Why does Gandalf prefer coupes? Because other cars have Mordor."
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!"
"My brain knows that there's a guy doing work on my roof today, but my nervous system keeps acting like the house is under attack."
"what's big, black and looks good on a lawyer's neck? a doberman"
"""Describe 2016 in 4 words"" ""That's a tomorrow problem"""
"I used to be in a band, we were called 'lost dog'. You probably saw our posters."
"My girlfriend broke up with me today Now I guess I'm just somebody that she used to blow"
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