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Joke of the Day

"[at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers."

"*gets in the bus* *Brings out earphones* *untangles* *arrives*"

"Before you judge someone... Walk a mile in their shoes. If you still don't like them, at least they're a mile away, and you have their shoes."

"It's all fun and games when there's a hole in your bucket... ...the problems start when there's a bucket in your hole."

"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."

"What's brown and rhymes with ""snoop""? Dr. Dre"

"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Yo momma,.. Yo momma is so stupid, that when they play *Do the brown* she thinks its *Dodo brown* and the bitch shits on herself each time."

"Why are men smarter during sex? Because during sex they're plugged into a fucking know-it-all!"

"Do I just call you or should we resolve this quickly with 200 text messages?"