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Joke of the Day

"A voter from the 2000 election recognized me. He came up to me and said ""Hey, Chad, how's it hanging?"""

"How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons."

"God I hate hidden microphones They bug me so much!"

"What's the difference between a doe and dope? One's gotta pee."

"I went to see a night of XXX short films! Imagine my disappointment when it was just 30 Roman movies."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta away!"

"The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart."

"Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish? Lightbulb."

"my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards"