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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, here's a secret. The moment you are happy and over us, we will send you a text saying that we miss you."

"Just got home to find the doors ripped off and everything gone. What kind of bastard could do that to my chocolate advent calendar?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face :O"

"Recently after a night of fun my SO asked... ""How do you shave your balls?"" After thinking for a few moments I say ""Carefully"""

"A man walks into a doctors with five penises, I asked him: ""how do you put your trousers/pants on??"" He said: ""like a glove"""

"Why is Bruce Wayne's hair messed up? Because of his cowlick."

"My ex-girlfriend is like a chocolate She killed my dog"

"I went to a wedding. The bride had something old, something new something borrowed...and the groom had something blew."

"How much does a flight to Rio cost? A Brazilian dollars."

"I like my women how I like my cheese... ...blue, filled with holes, and wrapped in plastic in my fridge."