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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face :O"

"23% of traffic accidents involve cell phone use, but 77% do NOT involve cell phone use. Statistics don't lie. It's safer to use your phone."

"[going thru airport security] ""Please turn your laptop on"" *I start to stroke it's audio input* ""That's not what I-' Me: No no it likes this"

"Hitler did nothing wrong ...... with his art, in my opinion."

"Over the weekend, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said ""Wow, that's an awfully big word for a 12 year old."""

"Why are black people like sperm? Only one in a million actually works."

"What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air? Collecting his thoughts."

"What do you call a fat Mexican? A spic with span."

"Dog: Whatcha doing? Me: Shaving my legs. Dog: Why? Me: So that I'm not covered in... Dog: Not covered in what, Erren? NOT COVERED IN WHAT?"

"What do you do when your wife starts smoking? Slow down and apply lube"