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Joke of the Day

"My microwave beeps if I don't open the door within 30 seconds of it stopping. I'm fat, microwave. I won't forget there's food in there."

"Why are teenage girls so much better at English than boys? Girls, like, have a much better, like, grasp of, like, similes."

"For $2.20 you can get a medium coffee and a free 14 year supplies worth of napkins at dunkin donuts."

"I've always wanted to rewrite history but couldn't decide on the font.."

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? So they can see the battle."

"Why did the little girl eat her money for lunch? Because her mom gave her money for lunch. 8 year old sister told me this joke, gave me a good laugh."

"What do africans eat for breakfast? A bowl'a cereal"

"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."

"What do you get if your Kia is stolen in Finland? No Kia"

"My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat"