64530

Joke of the Day

"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."

"My door was not working I couldn't handle it"

"I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself."

"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"

"[me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: ""how did we both fit in this lmao"""

"I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts.... So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac."

"""Contact Us"" Oh yeah, I'm gonna contact the shit out of you"

"The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes."

"Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a car."

"What do you call gay sex between the founder of Scientology and a Native American? The Indian in the Hubbard."