187566

Joke of the Day

"HI I'M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU."

"Do you know how Michael Jackson really died? He ate a 3 year old wiener."

"I think I got crabs from an LGBT orgy last night... I must be having too many sexes."

"Life is like a penis, loose and hanging freely. Until a woman comes along and makes it hard."

"Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house And that's why Uber was created"

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum? The position of the dirt bag."

"I heard Israel is planning another false flag attack... The Mossad is going to nuke Gaza and blame it on the IDF."

"who said math is the universal language? hey, numbers-- speak english!"

"I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane."

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."