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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum? The position of the dirt bag."

"This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it."

"Where do Dalmatians get their music from? Spotify."

"Hug? Said the bunny to the oncoming lawnmower"

"if it's not a failure it sucks ass"

"This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends."

"Have you heard the joke about Whole Foods? It was so bad it made me sustainably groan."

"Gay men aren't fags. Guys who do 70mph, on a suburban side street, in their second-rate sports cars are fags."

"[math class] How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet? ""By crawling to the counter?"" GET OUT"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers."