223354

Joke of the Day

"Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house And that's why Uber was created"

"I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don't actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"What is something that everyone overlooks no matter how hard they try not to? Their nose"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYEE"

"What is something that tastes better than it smells? A tongue"

"""Bikini faux pas: are you guilty?"" As a guy, it's very hard to imagine the bullshit that women are bombarded with."

"I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman? A meanderthal."

"ME: Honey, I bought a Pet Rock WIFE: A WHAT? ME: Shhh, you'll make him nervous DWAYNE JOHNSON: *already peeing all over the carpet*"

"I tried to think of a good music joke But that sort of thing really isn't my forte."