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Joke of the Day

"NSFW What do jesus and girls have in common? The expression on their faces when they got nailed."

"I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead."

"A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder."

"I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled ""paedophile!"" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"""hey dad, when did they outlaw hyperboles?"" ""hmm i dont know son, like a bajillion million years ago? idiot"" *cops bust down door*"

"Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood."

"what do you call a baby in the middle of the ocean without arms or legs? fucked."

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life? He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise."

"My First reddit Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? Because he was looking for a tight seal!"