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Joke of the Day

"I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead."

"80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction."

"Leia: This is romantic Han: I know Chewie: Rwwar Leia: Does he have to be here? Han: It's a life debt. You're basically marrying us both"

"Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?"

"I hear an important member of Jehovah's Witness died He's knocking on heaven's door"

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To reach the bottom. As told by my 5 y/o cousin."

"Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams came true."

"Why is Hillary Clinton just like a man? Because she won't pull out until she's done."

"WIFE: Did you buy eggs? ME: Even better. I bought a goat. W: How is that better? M: *stares confusedly for a full minute* How is it not?"

"Need jokes with the same punchline as this. Help! What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick."