182416

Joke of the Day

"If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment."

"A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar The bartender asks - is this some kind of joke?"

"Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death."

"I was kicked out of the gym for arguing with my step aerobics instructor, but I don't care. She's not my real aerobics instructor."

"Whats the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger"

"Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force"

"What Will Mexico's National Sport Become if Trump Is Elected? Pole Vaulting"

"If women can do everything men can... ...howcome they've never successfully oppressed an entire gender?"

"Those rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don't they?"

"[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] ""Dr that's the model skeleton"""