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Joke of the Day

"If women can do everything men can... ...howcome they've never successfully oppressed an entire gender?"

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"People have came up with a digital wallet... But last time I checked I didn't get charged for using a credit card"

"why is it hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac? because they always take things literally!"

"What do you say to a pregnant woman who wants to force her child to become a Rabbi? When is the baby Jew?"

"Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose)."

"i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die"

"What did Allen Ginsberg say upon being intoduced to Lawrence Ferlinghetti? Howl do you do ?"

"What to do when a blonde throws a grenade at you... What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."

"What's the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A Pickpocket snatches watches."