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Joke of the Day

"How did the guy with a foot fetish ruin his date with an amputee? He got off on the wrong foot"

"Did you hear about the 2 men who stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."

"Why do aspirins work? Because they're white."

"Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else."

"A murderer sitting in the electric chair was about to be executed. ""Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. ""Yes"" replied the murderer. ""Will you hold my hand?"""

"An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"so a man is playing a violin in the middle of the jungle And a lion comes up and eats him. A tiger comes up and says ""hey man why did you do that? It sounded beautiful"" and the lion replied WHAT?"

"How do you call a sex doll when you can see the whites of its eyes? Full"

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Making the decision to turn off life support."

"Dan: My little brother is a real pain. Nan: Things could be worse. Dan: How? Nan: He could be twins !"