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Joke of the Day

"Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else."

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"I went to take an online ADHD test today... but gave up quickly because it was stupid and boring."

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"

"Women belong in the house... ...and the senate too"

"the karate policy at this nursing home is bullshit"

"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was... Apparently, Caitlyn Jenner was an inappropriate answer."

"Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out..."

"My Doctor told me I had the Big C. I asked him to be more pacific."

"Baseball is my favorite sport, because you can play it on a professional level with food in your mouth."