202350

Joke of the Day

"An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects"

"The cost of living has now gotten so bad... ...that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries."

"I've decided I'm selling my vacuum cleaner It's just here gathering dust"

"Pants Coworker: ""Do you wear the same pair of pants every day?"" Me: ""No, I just have Fifty Shades of Grey."""

"Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he's wrong and you are positive their names are ""Batman and Robert""."

"Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?"

"My wife and I have lost 150 lbs combined!!! The search team are taking longer than expected to get her body back from the river though."

"What the mothers against drunk driving aren't counting on is my innate ability to run people over while sober."

"Your mom must study Reverse-Judo. She keeps throwing herself at bad men."