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Joke of the Day

"If I wanted to seduce my mom with fruit... ...should I send her an Oedipal Arrangement?"

"Q)What is the condition when a cat loses it eye-sight after being beaten? A)Cat-a-rekt!"

"Why do feminists hate rubbing the body? Because it's massage-gynistic"

"The word condominium has the word condom in it. hehe ;)"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia. And so do I..."

"Nancy Grace just called pot smokers ""fat and lazy"". Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o'clock on a Monday watching your show."

"I went off on a tan gent once He was wasting all his time at the beach"

"[I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]"

"I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot."

"One of these days the love of your life will walk right past you and you're gonna be staring at your phone posting a status about how lonely you feel."