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Joke of the Day

"If I wanted to seduce my mom with fruit... ...should I send her an Oedipal Arrangement?"

"Had bacon this morning, made Monday joke, drinking coffee, will masturbate later. I AM TWITTER!"

"Pretty cool you had a healthy meal while I was eating the icing off an entire cake."

"Did you hear about the girl with the boobs on her back? She was hell to look at but nice to dance with."

"What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle."

"I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it."

"George Washington wasn't arrogant, but he did predict the $1 bill would contain his likeness. In that regard, he was on the money."

"A Christmas joke for you: Where do snowmen go to dance? The snowball!"

"Working at a Land Rover factory is so interesting I make a new Discovery every day"

"Why don't SJWs like Reddit? It's a real cispool."