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Joke of the Day

"The wood necromancer thought he had the upper hand when he trapped the clerics in his log cabin... But all too soon, the tables had turned."

Next Joke
 
"I'm always surprised how quickly ""you're so funny"" turns into ""everything is a fcuking joke to you."" (usually about 3 months)"
"I see your IQ test came back negative"
"I entered a contest to see how fast I could eat a clock. I didn't win. The whole ordeal was very time consuming."
"Bernie Sanders to ban Oral sex if he becomes president.... ""It's the only way I can get reddit to stop sucking my dick"" - he said."
"My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, ""How old are you?"" I said, ""I'm five."" He said, ""When I was your age I was six."""
"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."
"Maybe it's karma that I stepped in gum after all the times I've spit mine out on sidewalks. Didn't stop me from keying the nearest car."
"Imagine if a guy with a stutter was named History because History repeats himself"
"Me: Strengths? I never vomit when I'm nervous. *vomits* HR guy: Umm...you sure about that? Me: Oh yeah, yeah. I'm just super drunk right now"