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Joke of the Day

"Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs."

"What's the most common blood type in Canada? Eh."

"Why did the students need a ladder to get into school? It was a high school."

"Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount."

"My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me."

"How do you know it's time to go to bed? Hitler is raping you!"

"Let's count to 10.000"

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"My Fallout 4 Review It's a blast."

"What do you call a seafood-eating California motorcycle cop who only pulls over nuclear reactions or a radioactive decay? Fission Chips."