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Joke of the Day

"Me: Is there something wrong with your pasta? 4-year-old: It's not a doughnut."

"Monday, you deplete me."

"What was the code to hitler's secret bunker? NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!"

"My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie."

"My grandfather told me this one.. You need to try everything in life at least once except three things: incest, heroin and folk dance."

"What do you call it when a banana eats another banana? Canabananalism EDIT: Thanks for all the support, only my second reddit post and I'm surprised this got as many upvote a as it did!"

"I see bed, people."

"What does a cheetah call Usain Bolt? Fast food"

"My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child.. But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins."

"Did you guys see the stock prices of brussel sprouts today? They really blew up...."