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Joke of the Day

"My friend said ""Women directors have never had major success with a live action film"" So I said, ""Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy."""

"Two drunk Man Two drunks are in a bar. First one: ""My wife is an angel"" Second one: ""You are lucky! Mine is still alive."""

"Name the four seasons Shit, Summer, Shit, Shit"

"What's the difference between a group of intelligent midgets and a girls xc team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."

"My mum doesn't work in IT. So I don't get why she looks at me and keeps repeating ""I wish there was an undo button."""

"Every kid dreads accidentally calling their teacher ""mom"" but from personal experience, doing it in a rap battle is worse"

"An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar and the bartender says ""I don't even know how to label you!"""

"Sometimes I open my mouth and a dad joke falls out and we both just need to walk away from that and remember better times ok"

"Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave"

"Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent."