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Joke of the Day

"Every kid dreads accidentally calling their teacher ""mom"" but from personal experience, doing it in a rap battle is worse"

"If Excel had a record label.... It would be Excel ENT. I'll see myself out."

"Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it!"

"Extra virgin olive oil is just olive oil who got dating advice from me."

"BABY FROZEN STEAK: mommy is he coming back MOM STEAK: no honeyget some sleep [rocky walks into the freezer] ROCKY: time to punch some meats"

"Who invented the North America? TEACHER: Sarah, go to the map and find North America. SARAH: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Sarah!"

"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"

"I'm thinking of opening a pre-owned clock store... I'm gonna call it 'Second Hand'."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."

"2 grams for $40??? Son, you are getting soooooo ripped off. Go see Jermaine on Fremont St. Tell him Your Mother sent you."