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Joke of the Day
"Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave"
Next Joke
"Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, ""I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."" Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means."
"I went to the library today I said: do you have any books on suicide? She said: we did, but no one brings them back"
"Kid: What's a man? Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom"
"I got a bootleg copy of ""Alien vs Predator"" It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!"
"Android lets you use ""Lumos"" for the flashlight, ""Silencio"" for the notifications... but not ""Incendio"". That is a Samsung exclusive."
"What is the difference between Donald Trump's hair and a Headcrab? Nothing."
"I saw a homeless guy in town shouting about a lot of random stuff... It was a vague rant."
"My friend David lost his ID... Now we just call him Dave."
"No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark"