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Joke of the Day
"Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave"
Next Joke
"what's the deal with hairline food I mean sheariously"
"I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration... ...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down."
"""Don't fret."" -Guitar that apparently doesn't want to be played"
"What do punctuation marks win in competitions? Apos-trophies"
"I used to think I had bad taste, but then I met my girlfriend and now I know what someone with bad taste really looks like."
"Wonder Woman What's the difference between Wonder Woman and the Dickless Wonder? One was played in the 1970s by Lynda, the other by Jimmy."
"AY LMAO's in a bar. Two aliens are sitting in a pub. One of them turns to the other and says, plububulaBBHAJGGIUI@@#GJKG?' The other one replies, Dude, you are seriously shitfaced.'"
"Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy? Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time."
"Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies."