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Joke of the Day

"TV Anchor: I don't have my Halloween costume yet but it's going to be cool and wet! Me: Wow you go girl! TVA: turning to weather... M: Oh..."

"Why do they call it a pap smear? How many chicks do you know that would turn up for a cunt scrape?"

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want em?! NNNNEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW"

"I'm a party animal... because when I go to parties I end up pissing on the floor"

"Beware of Lawyers 7 ""Are!you!a!lawyer?"" ""Yes."" ""How!much!do!you!charge?"" ""A!hundred!dollars!for!four!questions."" ""Isn't!that!awfully!expensive?"" ""Yes.!What!is!your!fourth!question?"""

"What does FIAT stand for? Fix It Again Tony"

"I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen"

"""He's no longer updating iTunes."" - A very modern way of saying someone died"

"A butcher backed into a meat grinder... He got a little behind in his work."

"When my boss asks me if I can ""take a stab at this"", I always hope she'll point to that coworker we all hate."