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Joke of the Day

"A butcher backed into a meat grinder... He got a little behind in his work."

"I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons."

"What's a sheep's favourite band? Ewe 2"

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says ""Hey did you see Donald Trump talking about his dick on tv last night? Can you believe that fucking guy might be president?"""

"Who called them accountants and not sumbodies?"

"How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!"

"If you see me longingly looking at you at the pub, i'm just wondering if you're going to eat all those nachos?"

"All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet."

"Still disappointed that the only hard thing in my bed lately has been my mattress."

"I like to buy books, but I never read them. I just want them for my shelf."