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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant? Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York."

"Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters? Because a Lannister always pays his debts."

"Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing... There were no casual tees."

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got into my pajamas, I don't know. - Groucho Marx"

"Which fraternity was George Lucas in during College? Psi Phi."

"""I donno. America's Got Ghosts?"" -- someone in charge of a channel I probably pay $10 a year for and never watch."

"Confucius say when mosquito land on testicle, you learn to solve problem without violence"

"What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it."

"With my luck, I bet if I was homeless, I'd probably end up with the shopping cart with the fucked up wheel."

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""