172438

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant? Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York."

"I was gonna tell a racist joke But fuck it, its too dark"

"Clean and jerk is a weight lifting term? Oh... *Tosses tissues in the trash*"

"A woman asked a female doctor if she had aids ... ""Yes, I do. They're busy now, but they'll be with you shortly."""

"What do politicians do for fun? Rave at the party."

"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""

"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."

"In honour of Back To The Future, I just went back in time one hour. That's the joke."

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"I was playing a game of solitaire, but I only had a pack of Tarot cards I actually won, but 4 people died"