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Joke of the Day
"What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it."
Next Joke
"Helium walks into a bar and orders water. The bartender apologises, ""sorry sir we are out of water"" ... It doesn't react"
"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.... Now that I've got your attention, BOOBIES!"
"What is the wettest animal in the world? A Rain Deer."
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a **great** year."
"I've been struggling with my laziness. I can't decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing."
"MAN: [after being mauled by a bear] oh it's just a scratch MAN: [with a cold] omg i can't breathe i think i'm dying"
"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"
"[at airport] TSA: sir, you've been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that's cool i didn't know my flight included a dental cleaning"
"out of all the lies ive told just kidding is my favorite. I don't get it?"