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Joke of the Day

"What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it."

"I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Considering how badly Asians drive, I got to thinking. Maybe Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"I clicked ""Going"" on a Facebook event last week but now I feel like staying in... *masked tough guys throw me in a van* ""You committed, pal"""

"Little Kid: wanna hear a joke? Me: life is meaningless without death Little Kid: why did the chicken cro- wait what?"

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""

"My wife and I play trivia pursuit a lot, it's where she ignores me until I correctly guess what I did wrong."

"Ya know, I've never taken an ugly girl to bed... Woke up with a few though."

"What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships!"

"Why is Ronaldo so good at football? Oil of Ole Ole Ole"