171985

Joke of the Day

"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."

"What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank? A cab."

"It's only fitting that God would be a woman... since space is a vacuum."

"What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !"

"I'm not sexist. Sexism is wrong. ...and being wrong is for women!"

"Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine."

"[dentist chair] how's school? *I start talking, dentist notices his hand isn't in my mouth* oh sorry *puts hand in my mouth* how's school?"

"Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. So I live like a newborn, sleepy and confused."

"[texting] -have a good day You two! *to Ugh *tpp Arghh *yoo DAMMIT *two shit *TOO YOU TOO There! :) -please stop texting me Ha! You two!"

"What happened after the word bank was robbed? There was a run on sentences."