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Joke of the Day

"[dentist chair] how's school? *I start talking, dentist notices his hand isn't in my mouth* oh sorry *puts hand in my mouth* how's school?"

"I don't know if laughter is the ""best"" medicine, but I do like that it doesn't have a $35 co-pay."

"Sorry I missed your facebook event, I was super busy not considering you a friend."

"I've been practicing pickup lines for depressed men... Hey baby, can you get your pants lower than my self-esteem?"

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His underwear fits like a glove."

"Are u cold? http://imgur.com/qfirGti"

"What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter? Cairo-practor."

"I like that Linkin Park song where the guy suddenly screams."

"What do pennies and fat chicks have in common? Unless you're broke and desperate, they're not worth picking up."

"A rabbi and a priest are walking down the street. They see a young boy bending over and the priest says ""let's screw him!"" And the rabbi says ""outta what?"""