133419
Joke of the Day
"It's only fitting that God would be a woman... since space is a vacuum."
Next Joke
"They agree I'm funny I started my new job at the retirement center today. Told the residents that I'm a really funny guy. They didn't understand any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves."
"Top uses for a bathroom exhaust fan: 3. Remove moisture from the air 2. Remove odor from the air 1. Cover up disgusting sounds"
"Life hack: Stare into your Uber driver's eyes through the rear view mirror the entire time."
"I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed."
"8yo: Ghosts real? Me: No! 4yo: I heard groaning last night 8yo: & a bed squeaking and moaning 4yo: What was that? Me: .. Them: .. Me: Ghosts"
"Meek Mill's diss track walks into a bar... Bartender takes one look at 'em and says, ""We don't serve trash."""
"Oatmeal shouldn't get to have the word ""meal"" in it. How about oatsnack? Or oatbullshit?"
"Greek mythology summed up in five words Unfortunately, Zeus was feeling horny"
"There are two secrets to success 1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets 2."