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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank? A cab."

"What's the difference between a beggar and a US Politician? A beggar has retained his integrity."

"How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday? With a low-key event"

"A man was arrested today for masturbating on a subway. Apparently, it's a crime to be metrosexual."

"I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto"

"Did you hear about the zombie that went vegan? He called his decision a no-brainer"

"Saw a really attractive woman the other day... She was wearing a miniskirt and a really low-cut shirt and I kept thinking to myself, ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" She did...."

"If you wanna make hundreds of friends, you gotta wear a t-shirt with a joke on it. People will not stop laughing. ""This guy,"" they'll say."

"19 people got trampled at the Berlin Love Parade?! That's like if the War on Terror resulted in more terrorists!"

"Having to get just a cucumber at the store can be awkward. Especially if you panic & say, ""It's not what you think, it just for a salad."""