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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pig and a musician? A pig won't stay up all night to fuck a musician"

"I'm banned from HomeDepot, after trying to steal drugs. I was caught stealing two ladders; what can I say they get me high."

"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"You know what they say about small feet... Big truck"

"Taking my dog to the park is the same as my checking Reddit... We check out all the posts and piss on half of them."

"What did the left butt cheek say to the right? If we stick together we can stop this shit."

"How did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"I have high friends in places."

"What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white? Greh."

"Remember how in Lord of the Rings they slept out under the stars? It was pretense."