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Joke of the Day

"Asked for ""change for a dollar"" at the Dollar Store and they just gave me a different dollar."

"What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut? Menachem Vegan"

"2 guys walk into a bar. The first one says i want h2O and has a drink. Says damn this is good. The second guy says ""bartender, I want some h2O too."" The second guy dies."

"What's a pirate's favorite bomb? The tsARRR bomba."

"Spider-Man's Aunt May is now portrayed by Marisa Tomei..... At first they cast Caitlin Jenner....but they decided *Aunt-Man* was too easily confused with *Ant-Man*"

"A girl walks into a bar... A girl walks into a bar and says, ""I'll have a double entendre."" So the bartender gives her Triple Secs."

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions."

"What do you call a wolf once its found A there wolf"

"What is common between a gynecologist and Pizza Deliver guy? They both can smell it but cant eat it."

"I'm a huge fan of politically incorrect jokes. Listen to this absolute classic: ""Abraham Lincoln was never president""!"