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Joke of the Day

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions."

"My girlfriend said if this gets 200 votes, we'll try anal. Just kidding, I don't even have a girlfriend."

"Wife: Tell me how many women you fucked during your 5 year trip. Husband: None! Wife: For every one that you tell me I'll give you a hundred dollars Husband: I don't need your 36000 dollars!"

"I'm a morning person. Then, around noon, I turn into a horse."

"My girlfriend got her period last night while she was sleeping... In other news, I have a Japanese flag for sale now"

"I made a joke about Kim Jong-Un [Removed]"

"A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks right at him and says, "" Hey! Don't you go starting anything!"""

"Why do Americans suck at DOTA2 ? because they are bad at defending towers "

"I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to f*ck off and buy my own."

"How to take selfies: Step 1: Take 40 pictures. Step 2: Post the least bad one."